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Tips For A Feminist Looking For A Date
It has become increasingly problematic for men to approach and propose to women with the feminist mentality. It is difficult for a feminist looking for a date to get suitors who will understand their standpoint and support them in it.
On the other hand, feminists can not date any man. They look out for men with some particular traits to hook up with. But can you judge a book by its cover? How can a feminist know that the man she is dating can handle her egos and whims for a long time?
Is that man a perfect candidate for a long-term relationship or marriage, or does he worth your time? Here are some things to look out for in a potential partner as a feminist.
Feminist on a Date: Tips and Tricks
1. Get His Views on Feminism
Getting to know your dates stand on feminism can well inform you of two things, whether he has preconceived views on feminism or is an open-minded person ready to learn.
This can be essential to your way forward with the man. After knowing his stance on your ideology, you can now decide whether to continue or cut things short. If he is totally ignorant, you can explain things if he is only ready to listen.
2. Lookout for His Interest
Sharing the same interest with your partner is one of the important ways to stay on the same page. Through that, you can also determine if he shares your ideology. You can use the trick of asking about his favorite authors and books. Check if he mentions any woman author on his list.
You can now suggest he reads a book on feminism and check his reaction. His reactions and poster can be a red flag or a go-ahead.
3. Try To Ask Damning Questions and Seek His Views
There are things that men will never consider doing. This includes taking the surname of his wife because the accepted norm is the opposite. So try to provoke his conscience by asking whether he will ever consider using your surname or allow you to maintain yours if you were to get married.
His answers will let you know whether he is a conservative or open-minded person. It can also help determine his stance; and how he conforms to such traditional norms. If he becomes outraged about the question, then you already know his stance.
4. Offer to Pay Your Own Bill after the Date and Watch the Reaction
As a feminist, you would want to pay your own bill after a date. This date shouldn’t be an exception. In fact, it should be a testing ground. Offer to pay your own bills and read his reactions.
If he rejects it vehemently, it means he conforms to the tradition that men have the sole responsibility of taking care of bills. But note that he may also be thinking that you are testing he is a man enough for you.
On the other hand, if he agrees to your suggestion to pay or offers to pay this time while you pay for the next date, then you are on the same page.
5. Did He Ever Say Sorry?
Some men feel too big to say sorry even if they are at fault. You can check if your date is such a type during your meeting. So let’s say he showed up late for the date due to some personal reasons. The first thing expected in such a situation is for him to say sorry.
So what did he say as he showed up? Did he say sorry or tried to give you stories as to why he came late? Anyone who tries to justify their mistake is a chicken. What he says will inform you whether he respects women or treat them with discontent.
6. Seek His Thought on Violence Against Women
You can get to know someone’s true character and identity by seeking their views on social vices. As a feminist, you can ask for your date’s views on violence against women.
If he tries to justify the acts or defend the perpetrators, you should know that they are one of them. Such guys treat women like property and not a companion.
The list goes on and on if you are a feminist on a date. It can help you make a sound judgment as to the right man for you on the list. You can share your thoughts if you have any by adding them to the list.