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8 Things to Consider Before Dating A Diplomat
Dating a diplomat comes with good, bad, and ugly sides. Despite all the courtesies you may be accorded, enormous challenges await you. The lack of quality time together, security issues, and the fear for your partner are just a few of the problems you must endure. Such situations usually result in divorce or unhappy marriage. Are you thinking of dating a diplomat? Here are some things you need to know.
Dating A Diplomat: Ways To Find Love In The Foreign Service
1. You can be a Target
A diplomat’s wife can always be a target for a terrorist or other individuals to send a signal to higher authorities. Typically, certain groups, unions, and organizations may not want leaders of other countries meddling in the affairs of their countries. So, for example, if your husband is an American diplomat in Afghanistan, both of you can always be a target of terrorist groups in that country. This can be through kidnapping, issuing of death threats, or even an attack through suicide bombing. They may do this to signal your president to stay off issues in the country. The only solution will be for you to stay back.
2. You May Raise your Children Alone
Another negative aspect of dating and subsequently marrying a diplomatic man is the tendency to raise your kids alone. This is not because you want to, but the situation and work of your husband will demand that. As mentioned, he may be serving in a dangerous or war-torn country that would not support effective child-raising.
You wouldn’t want to risk your children’s lives and will, therefore, prefer staying back home. Aside from that, his busy schedule will not even allow the family to have enough of him. He may only return home on weekends and even with lots of work.
3. Relocation
Relocation is one of the regular things you will be going through. He may serve in country A today and be reshuffled to country B tomorrow. You cannot enjoy a particular country for a long time unless the appointing authorities find it necessary. This can make it challenging to plan your life. When you have kids, it can affect their education unless you keep them in your home country.
4. You Have to Give up Your Career if you are Dating a Diplomat
Following your husband from one country to the other means you cannot keep your job. For example, if a practicing nurse marries a diplomat, she will have to give up her job and follow her husband from one country to another. There is no way you would also be allowed to practice in the visiting country for security reasons.
5. Be Ready To Sacrifice Your Identity
Aside from giving up on your career, you would be required to give up on your identity to protect your partner. As mentioned in point one, anything from that will make you a target.
6. You must be Supportive
Being the partner of a diplomat requires being supportive. The support can come in different ways, including advice, secretiveness, and meeting his emotional needs. Instead of being on his throat for every issue, you are expected to keep him on top of his job.
Meeting up with his friends and hosting them well when they visit home is also a way to support him. As it has been said, behind every successful man is a great and supportive wife.
7. Diplomats can be Clingy
After a busy day, he can hook on to you like a tick. They are clingy and can also be controlling. They will provide you with all the fun, take you to high-level parties and meet essential personalities, and do this with their eyes on You.
8. Background Checks will be done if you are dating a diplomat
Before dating you and subsequently making you a wife, a diplomat will subject you to high security and background check without your knowledge. They take these safety measures to determine whether you have other intentions. Sometimes, an organization or cult may use a woman to infiltrate high offices to get information. Don’t be surprised when you see guards around during a date.
Most of the above points don’t sound good. But there is nothing easy when it comes to a relationship. There is always a good, bad, and ugly side.